Did I mention that I'm a truck driver??

I know this is a long post, so if you don't have time to read it all, at least read the blue part.

Last summer we had our family reunion in Myrtle Beach and as part of the "entertainment" several of us talked about our jobs and how we ended up in that field. Kirby and I were talking about the speech I made the other day and I realized several people who read my blog didn't get to hear me talk about truck driving, so here's the speech my family heard last year.

When Kirby and I moved to WV, the job he had lined up didn't work out, so when he had an opportunity to attend a truck driving school I encouraged him to do it. He was convinced that he would never be able to learn all the information required to pass the written tests, but I promised I would help him study. He passed everything and after the 4 week course, he got a job driving for a tanker company out of Charleston. It wasn't long before he started seeing a lot of husband and wife teams on the road and he got the idea that I should get my license. After several months of discussing the pros and cons, I enrolled in the same school that he had attended.

The first week of the 4 week course consists of classroom work, reading handbooks, and taking written tests. I ended up taking a written test for general knowledge, air brakes, combination vehicles, tankers, and hazardous materials, as well as memorizing the 50 or so items that you have to check on a pre-trip inspection. I was not the least bit worried abou all this because I have been a straight A student all my life, and besides, I had just learned all of this information when I helped Kirby study for the same tests the year before.

Week 2 of the course is the beginning of actually driving the truck. Now I'm getting worried. I knew how to drive a standard transmission car, but the truck has 10 gears and you have to double clutch to change gears. In other words, you have to push in the clutch, pull the shifter to take the truck out of gear, release the clutch, then push in the clutch again, put the truck in the next gear, then release the clutch again. I spent a few sleepless nights wondering if I had made a big mistake signing up for truck driving.

During the time that I was in driving school, I was also doing a Bible study in the book of Psalms. I know you don't know where this is going, but hang in there, it is relevant. On the Monday morning of my first day behind the wheel of a big truck, when I was worried sick about double clutching (see above paragraph if you skipped to the blue part), the Bible study verses were in Psalm 121. The first verse of Psalms 121 says:
"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help."
The second verse says:
"My help cometh from the Lord, which made Heaven and earth."
So far, I'm just reading along, and it's pretty typical praise language for the book of Psalms. Then I read verse three. I don't even know how this verse got in there. It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of this Psalm, but isn't it just like a loving God to throw in a message written thousands of years ago that became so timely on that Monday morning? Verse three says:
"He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber."
If that isn't a promise about double clutching, then you don't know how to read the Bible.

Needless to say, I learned to drive the truck, and we've been driving together for 10 years. It isn't all fun, but some of it is. We've been to all 48 contiguous states, and more WalMarts than I can count. We've been to Disneyland and many other landmarks over the years. We get to visit family members who live thousands of miles away on a fairly regular basis. And we've eaten at more dives than Guy Fieri.

Most people consider the CB radio as a "must have" for truck drivers. We got our first radio shortly after we started driving, and when you talk to other drivers, they always ask who you are. Every driver has a "handle" or name they use on the CB. We were talking to some people at a truck stop and they asked Kirby what his CB handle was. He had told me several times that he was calling himself the dragonfly because our truck drags up hill and flies down hill. After he told them his handle I could tell the guy was turning to me to ask me what my handle was. I almost never talk on the CB, but I didn't want to ruin their image of truck drivers and CB talk, so I said the first thing that came to mind when he asked me my handle, without missing a beat, I said, "They call me the flyswatter."

So, the next time you're doing double nickel on the five & dime out in shakey town and you're dodging gators with a smokey on your back door, praying that chicken coop is locked up, and you get your doors blown off by a blue and white pipeline on wheels, put your ears on and say hey to the dragonfly, but he's gonna have to catch you on the flip side cause he's got the hammer down, he's got mama riding shotgun, and he's gone.

And just in case you are tempted to get yourself a CB, the term "good buddy" is no longer used by truckers because for some reason it now refers to a gay man.